Mercury & Doorknobs | ME. Strippers Blog
A Night to Remember at Mooses Breath Saloon
Back in 1999—not the song, but the actual year—PartyDancersUSA began booking a weekly Saturday night show at Mooses Breath Saloon in Greenville Junction, ME. This venue, located on the site of the former “Road Kill Café,” had been mysteriously destroyed by fire before being rebuilt and renamed by the owners. It became the setting for a well-known incident affectionately referred to as “Mercury Loves Doorknobs.” Stay tuned as I delve into the details of that memorable night.
Memorable Times at Mooses Breath Saloon
Besides the cantankerous owner, Bobby—who was no fan of loud music and not particularly fond of me, though he did appreciate the dancers—PartyDancersUSA was flourishing during this period. At the time, our dance crew was quite diverse, including new recruits, a few seasoned veterans, a couple of dancers from other agencies, and, naturally, a few ‘dancing problems’ that kept things interesting. My penchant for blasting loud rock music during the shows certainly didn’t help smooth things over with Bobby.
A Packed Night at Mooses Breath Saloon
One particular Saturday during hunting season, Mooses Breath Saloon was buzzing with activity. Just as I was about to kick off the show, our lead dancer gestured urgently for me to come over. Unable to break away at that very moment, I watched as she headed back to the dressing room. I followed shortly after, curious and slightly apprehensive about what had prompted her sudden need for a discussion.
Summoned to the Dressing Room
I was quickly “Summoned to the Dressing Room”—a cramped, empty space next to the entryway. Once there, the issue at hand was simple yet seemingly monumental: our dancers needed a mirror installed. What should have been an easy fix turned into an act of Congress, right, Bobby? That darn mirror became the season-long saga we never heard the end of. Despite the constant discussions, we never did get that mirror, much to the frustration of everyone involved.
Dressing Room Drama
I approached the always-locked dressing room door and knocked the code knock, but oddly, no one answered. Confused, I tried to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. Listening closely, I could hear Raine, our lead dancer, inside, her voice raised in anger. She was shouting at another dancer, “Get away from the door!” followed by, “Cut that shit out!” and “What’s the matter with you, girl?” The tension behind the door was palpable, and I knew something was seriously amiss.
Chaos Behind the Closed Door
After hearing the muffled response from Mercury and a sudden loud thump—later I would learn it was the sound of a body hitting the floor—I was momentarily distracted by Bobby, once again complaining about the music being too loud. Clearly, he had no concern for the unfolding drama in the dressing room. Annoyed, I turned down the music and made my way back to the locked door.
After another 10 seconds of persistent code knocking, the door finally swung open. Inside, I was met with a tableau of shock: Raine and all the dancers stood with mortified expressions, silent and frozen. No one spoke a word; their eyes were all fixed on Mercury and Raine, the tension in the air almost tangible.
Unbelievable Dressing Room Drama
I stepped into the tension-filled dressing room and asked, “What’s going on in here?” The room was eerily silent until Raine, taking a deep breath and glancing around at the still-shocked faces, decided to explain.
“Mercury was… well, she was messing with the doorknob,” Raine said, with an incredulous shake of her head. Seeing my confusion, she continued, “When you tried to come in earlier, Mercury literally had the doorknob in a chokehold, so to speak.”
She paused for a moment before adding, “After her… ride, she fell to the floor and continued… well, she finished off right here in front of everyone.” Raine concluded with a sigh, “Yup, that’s what just happened, boss. And she didn’t miss a beat.”
A Startling Confession
Stunned, I turned to Mercury and asked directly, “What the hell are you doing?” Without missing a beat, she responded matter-of-factly, “I can’t help it, I get so horny before every show and have to… masturbate. Sonny, I have to.”
I stood there, utterly puzzled, trying to process her blunt admission. This was not your typical pre-show issue. Glancing around the room, I saw that the other dancers were just as dumbfounded, their expressions a mix of disbelief and confusion.
An Unforgettable Exit
At a loss for words, the only thing I could muster was a firm, “MERCURY, CUT THAT SHIT OUT!” As I turned to leave the dressing room, I reached for the doorknob and immediately realized it was wet, slippery, and evidently lubed up. Really?
I stared at my hand in disbelief, then back at the group. Some were trying to stifle smiles, while others looked utterly grossed out. Shaking my head, I left the room and headed straight for the bar, my expression clearly broadcasting a “I can’t believe this just happened” vibe. To the bartender, I said, “Can I get a clean rag, please?”
A Memorable Admission
Mercury was not only exceptionally beautiful and highly skilled, but she was also genuinely fun and incredibly kind. Despite her professionalism, one moment remains vividly etched in my memory. One day, with utmost seriousness, Mercury confessed, “I can’t help it, I get horny before every show.” Faced with such a candid admission, what can one really say? It was one of those instances that highlighted the unique challenges and unexpected moments of managing performers.
